DUST
i've found peace in the darkness
behind all the books on the shelf
i guess i'm just dust
what if i could float away into nothing
be bound no more maybe become something
but it costs too much
maybe tomorrow
maybe tomorrow i'll settle
maybe tomorrow will be better
maybe tomorrow won't be so scattered
maybe tomorrow maybe tomorrow
ECHINACEA
this growing has felt like a life in itself
watered with failures and tears all too well
although all i see is as dark as within
and the pressure around has been wearing me thin
i think it's getting warmer
i think i feel the sun now
what if i'm the kind where my petals will always droop
what if i don't know if i'll even see that through
what if forever i'm only this tall
could anything i ever do mean something at all
but i know it's getting brighter
i can see the sun now
i'm standing small barely alive
but if i had it again i'd still choose life
CMD
when i wander away from your peace
when i feel like i’ve gone too far
and there’s no returning
you leave your ninety nine to come after me
when i feel the weight of all i’ve done
and i hide away ashamed of what i’ve become
you say child all i have is love
no need to run
when i feel the pain of my whole world
all the sickness and sadness
the brokeness i’ve learned
you say you are still good
completely unreserved
your love is chasing me down
i’m not lost i’m found
hallelujah love has found my heart
hallelujah love has won my heart
hallelujah
your love it chases me down
until i'm found
that's a sure thing
SWEET
it’s been way too long since i’ve felt the warmth of you
in your presence my soul longs to be consumed
deep is your intimacy
deep is your love for me
sweet is your intimacy
how sweet is your love for me
SAVE ME
if i could walk across the sea
and it led straight to you
i cannot say what i would do
if i could leave this place tomorrow
and see the light
i cannot say i’d put up much of a fight
save me
cause i’ve been walking on this road too long
and i have to say that i’m not that strong
it takes courage to live and
it’s hard to breathe and i’m weak
so save me
GARDEN SONG
i lay here and i’m surrounded by dirt
i cry here and wonder why i’m the one to hurt
do i really want to stay here
where despair is my best friend
do i really want to be alone
do i want all of this to end
i’ll tell you one thing i want to be loved
is this a garden or a grave
well this is my grave and i’m alone
i lay here and i’m surrounded by dirt
i grow here the way it’s meant to be
the way it was first
is this love never ending
will this hope not disappoint
is this peace unexplainable
is this joy not from this earth
i’ll tell you one thing i am loved
is this a garden or a grave
this is my garden and i’m at home
PREDICTABLE
another day of fallen ways behind me
it seems the same all this pain makes me predictable
though i’ve prayed that i’ll change
honestly it’s laughable
the way i’ve stayed in this place
as if it’s comfortable
i’ve been trying my very best or so i thought
i’m still a mess
i’m sick of nights where all my time is spent inside my mind
contemplating
oscillating between anxiety and suicide
so i got to find another stride besides my own
cause first i push my friends away
and then i feel alone
i’ve been trying my very best
but from the looks of it
i’m not sure if i’m made for this
FINE
wanting so bad just to hide
then people might not see the apathy
that’s on the inside
maybe i’ve lied too many times (said i’m fine)
maybe this smile’s been fake the whole time
getting high to hide the tells (it’s not enough)
then people might not see the mess
that i am within myself
trying so hard to forget
but trying’s shit to erase these fucking stills burned in my head